In Case You Missed It: August 6 - 10

Vintage Harley Women Photo:
avidrider.com

This week was another full one for me with summer camps winding down and my yearly office clean out in full swing, getting ready for new projects and the transition from summer to fall. I have been able to carve out some time for doing the things for myself that I love, which is so important for caregivers who work both in and out of the home.

For some families the end of summer is a difficult time, due to stress. In fact, the common question or theme from everyone I talked with or had contact with this week was "family stress".  Its fitting (or is it synchronicity?) that this week I also finished proofing my third book, "Calm and Connected: Yoga Based Tools for Self-Regulation" . 

This one is a different format than the "S.M.Art Stories™" curriculum series and was my favorite to write so far, because it gives specific insight into causes of family stress and simple non-intrusive ways to address and minimize it. It is written for adults and educators to guide kids to stay Calm and Connected even at the most chaotic times. This title will be available on Amazon in the next week or two so watch the blog and our Twitter , You Tube and Facebook pages for an introductory offer & other announcements!

And now for our weekly posts.

Wishing you a "Calm & Connected" weekend!


~Barbara



Calming Technique: Peace Ball (Video)

The Mechanics of the Brain

50 Children's Books with a Positive Message

The Best Swim Gear for Kids with Special Needs

For Visually Impaired and Dyslexic Students: A (Free) High Tech Solution

Natural Learning: Brain Based Principles

Visual Affirmation Tools for Kids






Contact: barbara@bodylogique.com

Visual Affirmation Tools for Kids

Affirmation Board

In my last post I talked about the Trouble with Affirmations.  I talked about the disconnect and confusion that can occur when you instruct a child to say an affirmation phrase while doing an unrelated activity.

For kids, the affirmation needs to be very simple, have personal meaning, and needs to make sense within the framework of the actions they are taking or need to take to reach a goal. They need to be able to relate to method you use and sometimes we need to get creative in the packaging of the things that they need to learn. We need to turn it into something fun.

As far as affirmations, children respond better to simple visual tools and are motivated by active participation rather than passive and rote learning. (For example, a photo album of childhood experiences holds more meaning than just talking about the events, and using multiplication to double or triple a favorite brownie recipe is much more engaging than memorizing the times tables.) When spoken word is added to visuals, it enhances the affirming effect and taps into the creative power of the imagination, such as looking at a photo album and hearing the stories behind the photos does.

Below are a few simple and useful visual tools for kid-friendly affirmations:

Painted Pebbles / Charm Stones

Painted Pebbles: Also called Charm Stones were used in Ancient Scotland and Iceland around 500 AD to heal illness. The stones had symbols and motifs painted on them that represented the healing energies being sent to the afflicted. In modern times, we see this concept in a variety of places, especially on accessories found in garden centers. This is such an easy way to display a word, mantra or message of affirmation to kids. Allow them to select their own rock and write or draw what they want to affirm. It does not have to be fancy, just meaningful to them. A small jewel or sticker can be added to personalize for the child. (I know one non-verbal child who kept a large collection of these painted rocks on a shelf of his bedroom. He would often hold them in his hand and softly hum to himself before he went to sleep.)

Message in A Bottle

Message in a Bottle:   A clean, empty water bottle can be up-cycled into a message in a bottle that holds positive messages, wishes or affirming thoughts for its owner. Add some sand, small shells, stickers and ribbon for personalization and a cork for the opening.   Children can add as many messages as they wish. Too see complete instructions, please go to this link: Surf's Up Photo Album.

Affirmations decorate
Mirrors & Door Frames

Mirrors & Door Frames: My daughter creates a variation of the message in the bottle by placing stickers, cards, bookmarks and trinkets around her mirror and on the frames of the pictures on her walls. She is surrounded by these positive expressions every time she enters her room.

When she was little, we started giving each other fruit stickers-the ones that come off of the produce from the grocery store. I would give her one and tell her it was for love-and she would give me one and tell me it was for hugs and so on. One day, I went to hang up her bathrobe on her door hook and on the back of her door, there were dozens of fruit stickers! She said it made her happy to look at them and know I loved her. Even now, every time we eat fruit from the grocery store, we give each other the sticker and a kiss as an affirmation of love.

Journals: Everyday journals can be used to make collage pages of affirmations, motivational quotes, fortune cookie sayings or photos of real life (or fictitious) heroes and role models.  Scrapbook accessories can enhance this process and make it more personal. The child does not need to know how to write to design one of these. The photos act as a positive affirmation, reminding the child of the qualities they love in their heros. A variation of this concept is to construct the collage on a large piece of poster or foam board. These are commonly called Vision Boards and are used to stay focused on goals and the positive things one desires in life, but can be used for many different purposes, such as affirmations. My daughter's is pictured at the top of this post. She made it when she was going through struggles at school and trying to understand the complex process of growing friendships. Each word or item she placed on the board represents a thing in her life she values. This stays displayed in her room as well, along with her message bottle and painted pebbles and of course her fruit stickers!


Contact: bg.bgini@gmail.com

The Trouble with Affirmations

Some of us remember from the 90's the Saturday Night Live skit "Daily Affirmation" with the fictional character of Licensed Nurturer, Stuart Smalley . The bit was a satire on self-help programs. Stuart, in an effort to help people, would offer misguided advice in the form of affirmations, that were actually Stuart's self-projected personal issues. The affirmations would take on a hint of subtle negativity and leave the guests shaking their heads.

At the beginning and ending of each segment, he would look in the mirror and declare: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it people like me." (See a clip of Stuart with Michael Jordan.)You always got a sense that Stuart really wanted to help. His heart was in the right place but he was too self absorbed and damaged himself to create affirmation effectively and would subsequently go into a "shame spiral".

This is also the trouble with affirmation in real life: if not constructed properly, or if we over-project all of our personal "stuff" into it, it misses the mark entirely.

Recently I read a post where the writer, a yoga teacher, suggested that children practice affirmations while doing personal care activities (bathing, brushing teeth, combing hair, etc.) The affirmation (while brushing teeth) was: "I am kind".

While the affirmation in itself is not a bad one, the act of brushing teeth has nothing to do with the act of demonstrating kindness. It does however relate to a healthy body. A better affirmation for teeth brushing would be: "I take care of my body and my body takes care of me" or "my body is healthy inside and out" or  "my teeth are getting cleaner, healthier and stronger".

When an action (or an image or underlying emotion) does not support the words one is affirming, it creates a disconnect and neutralizes the affirmation. Kids are especially in tune with this. To them it sounds like a lie (and in a sense it is) and can have the very opposite effect than what we intend, or no effect at all.

Let's take this same child who affirms "I am kind" and imagine that they have an awful cranky day because they don't feel good. They are mean to classmates and uncooperative with teachers. (Cranky days happen with adults too.) The actions that child has taken, along with the overall experience of the day is in direct opposition to the affirmation of being kind. This can very easily turn to self-disappointment, guilt, (or Stuart Smalley's dreaded "shame spiral") and all of those things we are trying to discourage in kids.

A better way to phrase this affirmation would be: "I do my best to treat myself & others with kindness/respect."  In addition, the affirmation gains more strength and validity if the child thinks/says this while actually helping someone rather than when brushing his or her teeth.

In order for an affirmation to be effective it must have four main qualities:

1-It must hold value & personal meaning for the one affirming

2-It must leave room for mistakes, improvement or something better to come to be

3-It must be stated positively and in the present tense (remove the words "not", "no", "will" "should" etc.)

4-Relevant action must be taken for the affirmation to become a reality  


In addition, the affirmation and actions taken to bring it into reality need to be related or connected to a personal & intense (positive) emotional feeling.  

Some Examples:  

"I don't hurt/have pain any more" vs. "My body feels healthy and stronger every day"  

"I am good at math"  vs. "I do my best in all my work"  

"People like me" vs. "I like people and am meetng new friends."  

"I am calm/happy"  vs. "I look for activities/people that help me stay calm/happy"  

Affirmations work to override old beliefs that no longer serves us and sometimes this is not as easy as just saying an affirmation. Empowering actions need to be taken as well. Affirmations do not magically work overnight but rather with practice and over time. Many times when people, especially kids, don't see instant results after saying a few affirming, positive statements, they then conclude that affirmations don't work at all, when in reality they can be a powerful tool for goal setting, stress management, self-empowerment, improved performance on the stage or field, creative problem solving and more if used correctly.  

This is why I believe that Imagery is more useful (at first) than affirmation. Whereas an affirmation is a verbal statement, an imagery is an entire scenario that you play like a movie  in your mind's eye. It includes sights, sounds, feelings, solutions and all the details that an affirmation statement cannot.  

On Wednesday's post, I will talk about an easy and fun method that can be used for children to create visual affirmations or set personal goals for themselves.  (See follow up post- Visual Affirmation Tools for Kids  here.)



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Contact: barbara@bodylogique.com    


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