Social Skills: Helping Friendships Grow (Creative Strategies)

 When I left my job in a NJ public school to move to PA  & start an adaptive yoga program for children with special needs, most people had no idea what to think and they couldn't imagine it. They questioned my sanity and if you could even teach children with autism or other challenges to move like that, sit still or understand any such concepts.

To be honest, I had no idea what to expect either. But in the last 4 years I have seen children learn how to move more fluidly, to self-calm, and to remember a story sequence. I've seen so many personal & therapy goals reached & so many more possibilities open up than me or anyone could have imagined.

When most of us who have never experienced it, hear the word 'yoga' it gives us images of moving our (somewhat imperfect) bodies into impossible postures, or sitting cross legged (and quietly) on a mat while we stress over having a million things to do at home or at the office. We question whether we can 'afford' that hour to ourselves. For children the experience is much different. They just do it. They don't question it and they are in the moment. They are not trying to learn and yet they do. Children's adaptive yoga is a very active & fun version of  this 'mind/body experience'.

While the main effect of yoga is the calming &  "bringing together" of one's mind & body, I've also observed the 'bringing together' of friendships, some unlikely on the surface at first, but then watching them growing spontaneously out of small groups with Lisa at KidsPlayWork, camp programs and studio classes. I have actively looked for ways to build opportunities for social growth & learning into yoga programming and so far, its been very effective & a good experience for everyone.

Friendships are so important to all humans, but especially for children with challenges. Social learning & building relationships is critical to a child's healthy development. Difficulty in making and keeping friends often leads to a number of emotional problems, such as low self-esteem and these problems usually continue into adulthood.  Once a group views a child as an outcast, this label is hard to overcome. Even if the child (or adult) changes the behaviors that originally caused this label, a reputation as a social outcast stays with him.


Children with poor social skills often do poorly in school and are at a high risk for delinquency, academic failure, and drop out. These are all the things we don't want for ourselves, our students or our own kids.

Social learning cannot be rushed, forced, nor dictated, but rather is taught by creating a number of real-life situations, scenarios, and teaching moments that the children are guided through properly. It is important to understand that until a child's body and senses are integrated, and until they have some basic self-control, cognitive & communications skills, (whether it be verbal or non-verbal) social skills cannot be taught effectively for the long term.

One of the ways that yoga can help introduce social learning is through partner poses. I will have a new group of  children play the "Mirror Game" in which Lisa, myself  or one child leads the others in a pose or movement, and the other follows. Play continues for a few minutes and then they switch roles. (This is a good activity to do with a peer mentor or buddy.) The movements are adapted to ability level and done slowly and deliberately. Both partners have to watch the other or adjust their body appropriately to do the movement together. Sometimes we use slow-tempo instrumental music to pace them and sometimes we let one child lead the group to vary it. In this way the activity begins build a non-verbal connection to others in a non-threatening way.  We make it structured yet fun to ensure the children laugh. (Laughter helps to break down social barriers & tension.)

After the children are familiar with one another we incorporate other Adapted Movement Games and sometimes modified versions of common Board Games to encourage focus, teamwork, self-control and of course fun! Two of my personal favorites are Yo-Jenga  and Yo-Spy. There are so many ways that common children's board & playground games can be adapted & incorporated in a traditional classroom to encourage friendships and social learning.

Some other ways to develop friendships in the classroom or studio:

Group Projects:
Collage murals, rice mosaics and interactive storytelling are three great activities that encourage social learning. You can use these activities to create situations where children must collaborate and work together. Consider individual interests and abilities and use dyads, triads or small groups to encourage interaction. Depending on ages and abilities, you can assign tasks such as writer, picture finder, paper cutter, glue person etc.  By helping children focus on a single task & using more or less structured instructions it will gradually help them interact with others more. To learn collaboration and compromise, older children, can select different tasks and problem solve how to complete the project together.

Story Sticks:
A Story Stick is a versatile tool that can be used in a classroom circle time, during yoga, or as a tool for story telling. Based on the idea of a Native American Talking stick, they can be created uniquely by children ages 5 and up with little or no help. (This activity is best suited for children ages 7 through teen.) When a person has the stick, he or she is the only one talking and the rest of the group practices listening. While in a circle, hold the community Story Stick and begin a story. Then pass it to the next child and they add to the story, (sometimes with prompting) and so on around the circle. Its a good exercise in spontaneous creativity, public speaking, listening, patience and working as a group.  To learn more about how to make a Story Stick click here .

Interactive Storytelling:
This is a great way to practice social learning and to teach strategies for overcoming challenges or adversity. This is also a great way to teach science concepts, culture, history and social studies. Select stories that are simple, age appropriate, entertaining, have a definite theme or a message, and that all children actively participate in. Adapt or shorten as necessary. (You can also use actual Social Stories in which specific skills are taught, discussed and reinforced through interactive role play. ) Use props, costumes, movement  and instruments to help the story come alive. Allow each child to tell a part of the story in their own words in sequence. Non verbal children can participate with props, PECS, instruments or flash cards.  A felt board, story board or mural can be made to go along with the activity. (It is important that every child have a role in this activity and is encouraged to participate to their own ability level.!)

Therapists, parents, teachers and other educators can and should be willing to work together to share information and brainstorm ideas and ways to promote an interest in social learning and growing friendships.

What are some of your creative strategies for growing friendships? Please leave a comment below!

For more interactive Games please visit our Sensory Game Page.

To learn how to develop your own classroom based yoga or storytelling program please contact Barbara@bodylogique.com



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