This is Why You Can't Focus

IMAGE: NBC News

The average adult loses focus every 6-10 seconds. The average child, about every 4 seconds. Doctors have put a fancy name on this - (ADD / ADHD) even though in the majority of cases, this mental wandering is a normal response to our natural biology and our ever changing environments.

The truth is, that we are busier than ever and feel as if we have less and less time-so we want our information on demand and in short summaries. We want our solutions to be quick and easy. In fact, by the time you are finished reading this post, your attention will have drifted several times-to your kids, your cell phone, your boss or coworker, or to something going on outside your window.

And, if I did not succeed in getting your attention with the headline or first line of the post, then you will be more apt to mentally wander or just scan through this text for information.

That is why you see so many "shocking truth" headlines and why TV commercials are comprised entirely of short montages of images that flash at you every 2 seconds like a strobe light: because advertisers know that they have a few short seconds to get your attention and hold it so they can get their message across-and they have to GRAB your attention (like those guys you hear on the radio shouting about buying a new car) get you excited, make you WANT that product or service and SELL you quickly before your attention wanders. And it will.

Conversely, when reading a blog, book, or magazine article, there are short paragraphs with white space between each one. Maybe an image or two depending on the topic. This to help your brain slow down, and absorb the information and pay attention better.

The reasons that we have a hard time focusing are sometimes complex, but are not necessarily due to a disorder. Simply put, its in our biology: the conscious part of our brain, the part that controls our imagination, judgments & decisions, has a very limited ability to actually process information. When it does, it can only do it a little bit a t a time and in the very short term.

The subconscious brain however, is directly responsible for running our inner biochemical reactions, (which adds up to about 10 quadrillion reactions per second) and does this non-stop-24 hours a day for our entire lives. This is the part of the brain that has the long-term processing ability, and helps to explain why we have trouble maintaining focus-and why we are so stressed.

Its all in the way we are wired.

The good news is that there are ways to tap into the subconscious and train our brains to keep focus for somewhat longer durations. By learning to do this, we can increase the efficiency of both our thoughts and our actions at the same time.

The first thing that we need to do, is release and reduce stress. A stressed brain cannot concentrate on much of anything except its own survival/boredom. Ironically, the best way to stimulate and engage the brain is through PHYSICAL activity! Our brains also form new pathways through physical action-especially true for infants, toddlers, children and teens. Walking, running, dancing, boxing, stretching, gardening, and other recreational activities, even for 10 - 15 minutes will do wonders to improve your mental processes and concentration level by releasing physical & mental tension.

The other activities below will not only coordinate and integrate both parts of your brain, (the conscious and the subconscious) but will also help to increase the brain' s ability to process information. A great benefit to this is that it can significantly reduce stress levels as well.

Try practicing one or two of these activities daily, for about 10-15 minutes. (I know you are busy, but that is exactly WHY you need to do this-so make the time!) If you can vary the activities and do this a few times a day, even better. This will keep it interesting and gradually develop all parts of the brain, improve your concentration and most importantly, help reduce your stress.


Give yourself time to Daydream:

Daydreaming may appear to be an activity for lazy people, but is actually an effective way to improve your focus and creative problem solving skills. The process of daydreaming is a very complicated and extremely productive neurological process. Viewed from the inside of the daydreamer, who is exploring the only space (their own mind) where they truly have autonomy, the process of creating positive imagery is just another form of thinking. Daydreaming is the opposite of the type of thinking we need for our working memory, and when we use one, we have to shut off the other. BOTH, however, are highly necessary for our emotional and intellectual health. So go ahead and daydream a little.

Get out the Crayons:

Coloring integrates both visual and brain processing functions. 85% of the information we take in, we do so thorough our eyes. about 1/4 of our brain is dedicated to visual processes. What you see, and what you create, will have an effect on your entire central nervous system. You do not have to be an accomplished artist-"doodles" and stick men have as much effect as drawing an intricate still life. Start by using a simple coloring page.(I keep a bunch of them - along with my own crayons - in my top desk drawer)  Its the process, not the product that matters most.

Remember to Breathe:

Your breath is always right here and right now. One of the simplest ways to improve focus is the pay attention to - and gain control over - your breath. Try for a whole minute to so doing nothing but pay attention to your breath. If you can do this the first time you try it, then you have much better attentiveness than most people. Gradually work your way up to three, then five or ten minutes. You will notice over time, that your breathing will become more controlled, even and calm. You  can do this several times a day, whenever you remember to. The longer you can do this, the more your ability to focus will improve-and your stress level will decrease.


Looking for more help with stress management? Our R.E.A.Ch™ program (Relaxation Education for Adults & Children) addresses both the underlying causes of stress, as well as simple, effective solutions. Find out more at: www.recprograms.com 


Related Articles:


Why Our Minds are Wired to Wander

Teach Kids to Daydream

18 Things Creative People Do Differently

Five Easy Ways to Improve Concentration Naturally




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What's the Big Deal About Keeping kids Active?

IMAGE: Steve Nash Youth Basketball Coach

We've heard it over and over- we need to keep kids active so they can be healthier and happier, but in addition to this and helping to combat obesity, did you know that daily physical movement is necessary to help the brain develop?

In fact, movement is a vital element of learning for all children.

Movement helps our primitive brains break down and use the information being received by the other senses so that the correct response and action can be  determined by the higher brain.

As we are starting to see, with the elimination of recess, the push for 'Common Core' and more "rigorous" standardized testing, when a child's academic learning is pushed too much (or too soon), before the body has even had a chance to move as an integrated whole, the entire central nervous system suffers - including the brain- as it becomes overloaded with stimulus. A developing brain, or a brain in a body that is not encouraged to move cannot process or make sense of, let alone know what to do with this information, so it shuts down to protect itself, much like a circuit breaker does when too much power flows through the wiring in your house.

This shut down is commonly known as the stress response or the "fight or flight response". It is involuntary and happens when adrenaline is forced into the system due to fear, confusion, embarrassment, anger, etc. and is the brain's way of protecting you from overloaded circuits and the damage that results. This is the body's natural response to stress and the threat of danger, but many things can trigger it., especially fear of failure.

When the brain is in a stress response, it is not capable of processing, remembering or learning anything. The only things it can do is "fight" or take "flight". Forced learning creates a stress response exactly like this and a student's  brain automatically down, which causes the parent/teacher to impose more homework, remedial drills, etc. and the student shuts down even more. They may even feel something is "wrong" with them. This cycle of forced learning & sustained stress takes its toll on the children. Confidence, motivation & self-esteem plummets, as learning becomes more tedious. Lack of motivation, defiance & even physical illness can occur. In many cases,the child, and sometimes even the parent or teacher has no idea why this all is happening.

As parents and educators, it is our job to show and allow children how to re-pattern daily routines. They cannot sit at a desk all day-for 6 or more hours-and not move around. Children NEED movement and need to release the stress in the physical body-and also need to allow the brain time to process and re-set in between learning or building new skills.

Its a known fact that physical movement helps the brain to integrate, but art, music, and other creative activities also support brain development. There is a TON of scientific data to support this.
(see below for some links)

I am in the process of launching our newest venture (website is in progress) - Recreation Education Consultants to help address some of these points. I am developing new recreation programs that will help kids naturally engage, create, de-stress and prepare for learning, all while having fun! The schedule is being finalized now for camp & school programs-as well as educator's workshops for the Pennsylvania, and New Jersey areas.

We invite you to join us-in person or online-to see what's going on!

~Barbara

Further Reading:

Your Brain (The Franklin Institute)

Optimizing Motor and Brain Development Through Movement

Brain Boost: Sport and Physical Activity Enhance Children's Learning






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Teaching Resilience with Lorraine Hirst

Photo: Way2Be.Me

Resilience can be best described as a process, rather than a trait. It is an individual's ability to cope with and surmount obstacles, stress and adversity and "bouncing back" to a previous state of normal functioning, or simply not showing negative effects of turmoil. 

For many educators, parents and caregivers, helping children bounce back from defeat can be a huge challenge.

Lorraine Hirst, emotional intelligence and resilience expert, says that  a child's inability to cope can manifest as inhibited social skills, inability to manage emotions, impulsiveness and low self-esteem. She says that helping children get a grip on their emotions is key. 

Lorraine has founded & designed the Way 2 Be Me program specifically to build resilience, emotional well-being, self-esteem and confidence, and to help give kids a "bounce forward" factor. She was recently interviewed by Michelle at the E-Nanny Source on the topic of resilience and I have been invited to share Lorraine's expert insights and suggestions with you today.


Expert Insights:  (E-Nanny Source Blog)

Talking About Resilience with Lorraine Hirst of Way2be.me

by Michelle LaRowe Editor in Chief, E-Nanny Source.com

Find original article here

For many parents and caregivers, helping their children bounce back from defeat is a real challenge, so I reached out to Lorraine Hirst, emotional intelligence and resilience expert, to see how parents and nannies can help children develop their bounce-back factor and foster resilience. Here’s what she had to share.

eNannySource:  Why is resilience important?

Lorraine: There are some children who don’t seem to recover quickly from problems or don’t seem to want to keep trying, i.e. they lack resilience. Resilience, known as the ‘bounce-back’ factor, is a character trait that is argued to be more vital than IQ and of more value to employers than good math and literacy. School teachers and other caregivers can tell you in a few seconds which children these are. They are the ones lacking in self-esteem, who may be victims of bullying, don’t join in group activities or clubs, and seem a bit vulnerable, and despite possibly receiving some additional academic support, they are not quite reaching their potential or coping as well as they could.

In younger children it can manifest as lack of social skills, inability to manage their emotions, lack of impulse control and so on. Having said this, they are still young, so these are the things we help them with as they grow!   As these children get older, they can become more vulnerable to risks such as problems with transition to secondary school, alcohol abuse (and there’s growing evidence that young binge drinking is on the increase, especially in the UK), drugs, self-harm, eating disorders, other mental health problems and even teenage pregnancy. Underlying problems such as anxiety and behavioral issues can be compounded by a lack of emotional resilience.

eNannySource:  How can parents and caregivers help a child become more resilient?

Lorraine: Helping children deal with their emotions is key. This is often called, ‘emotional coaching.’ That’s doesn’t mean dismissing problems, i.e. ‘don’t cry about that, be strong.’ These messages are not helpful. They suppress the emotion. The opposite is also unhelpful, i.e. to over-react, rush in or ‘marshmallow’ the child. This gives the child the message that they are helpless, an opposite trait if you trying to foster resilience. A hug or arm on a shoulder goes a long way to helping a child (or adult!) deal with the stress hormones that follow physical or emotional incidents. Secondly, acknowledge what a child is experiencing. If they can’t articulate what they are feeling, then do that for them, e.g. ‘you must be feeling really sad about that’ or ‘I expect you feel angry right now.’ Offering a magical solution, such as, ‘I wish we didn’t have to do homework or that there weren’t any bullies in the world,’ quickly followed by some adult reality, e.g. ‘sometimes there are some things we have to do or there are some people in life who don’t like us and want to make us feel bad.’ When the child is calm, they often come up with their own solutions to a problem (or you offer some solutions to a younger child, structuring the aftermath). Often, a child who is nurtured in this way will simply get on with what you wanted them to move onto in the first place.

Self-esteem is often linked to resilience, although resilience (also known as the ability to thrive) can be present when low self-esteem is also experienced, studies have shown. Having said this, healthy self-esteem can aid resilience as it can support a ‘can do’ attitude. Self-esteem is learned from adults around us, according to many experts, therefore building children’s self-esteem alone, without addressing your own, is often quite difficult and a whole other topic on its own. Whilst there are many other ways to build resilience in children, including taking up a hobby, praising the effort and not the end result of a task, moderating language that creates limiting beliefs and many more, the emotional coaching would be my number one.

eNannySource:  What is self-compassion?

Lorraine: The point about self-esteem and resilience leads me directly to the issue of self-compassion. Quite simply, I think of this as, ‘giving yourself a break!’ I don’t mean a chocolate (although those can be useful in moderation!), but not being so self-critical. It’s about forgiving ourselves when we mess up. We, including myself, can often hear ourselves saying the ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘ought’ words in our own minds. E.g. I ‘ought’ to be able to do this.’ ‘I ‘should’ be working right now.’ Worse are the voices that tell us we’re not capable, that we are silly, stupid, etc. I’m not talking about real voices but the critical parent in our own minds.

Self-compassion is a willingness to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding – it’s embracing the fact that to err is indeed human. When we are self-compassionate in the face of difficulty, we neither judge ourselves harshly, nor feel the need to defensively focus on all our awesome qualities to protect our fragile egos. Studies have shown that having a good dollop of self-compassion leads to higher levels of personal well-being, optimism and happiness, and to less anxiety and depression.

eNannySource:  Why is it important?

Lorraine: Lack of self-compassion may explain why some confident, bright individuals sometimes have less resilience than other people, i.e. they don’t take changes or constructive criticism very well, possibly due to their high expectations of themselves or lack of true self-worth. Ultimately, children (and adults) are more likely to have resilience and be able to ‘bounce back’ if they are willing to see their own weaknesses as changeable things they can correct, to move on from mistakes, committed to learning and improving. Everyone makes mistakes, but resilient people learn and move forward because they know how to forgive themselves first.

eNannySource:  How can parents and caregivers foster it?

Lorraine: In addition to helping children deal with their emotions and view mistakes as learning, it’s important to emphasize that it is entirely normal to feel sad, jealous, angry, etcetera, sometimes. There is no inner state or utopia where we are 100% immune to these feelings.

Modeling self-compassion is probably the key way to teach this skill. This is about not being too hard on yourself when things go wrong or, if you catch yourself being self-critical, such as saying out loud, ‘Bah, I’m such an idiot,’ we can rephrase this and say something like, ‘Well, that was a bit silly but it happened. I wonder what I can do now?’

We can judge the behavior, not the child. For instance, we can say, ‘That was an unkind thing you did,’ rather than, ‘You are disrespectful.’ The former describes the behavior and leaves some room for improvement, while the latter is rather judgmental and can set up a negative view of himself/herself in the child. Also, praise the task, don’t over-praise the child, i.e. ‘That was a clever idea’ is better than saying ‘you are brilliant.’ This is because the latter sets up an expectation, which may be difficult to maintain and then effects the child’s self-worth when they do something which is not so perfect.

Focus on positive behavior and changes, rather than harshly punishing the past. Yes, it’s important to teach children good behaviors, but they need to feel that they have some say in how to find better solutions. That way, they build the ability to reflect, learn from mistakes and move on. For instance, if a child hurts another child’s feelings, s/he can be invited to reflect on the effect of his/her actions (or given some suggestions, if the child is younger) or you can say, ‘How do you think you can behave in future?’

Ultimately, my hope is to explain that self-compassion is NOT about instilling a huge sense of awesomeness, as this is the road to narcissism and potential heightened self-criticism. (An ‘I’m OK, you’re not OK’ life position isn’t very helpful to building a cohesive society.) Parents and caregivers can sometimes overdo the self-esteem angle, which is a form of over-indulgence in itself. It is not realistic to think we can all be rock stars, for instance. Firstly, though, a look at our own inner critic is a good starting place for parents and caregivers. If we have self-compassion, then our compassion for others or ability to nurture children in this important life skill will naturally flow.

Find original article on E-Nanny Source here

Lorraine Hirst lives in the middle of the UK with her family and she loves helping people explore their own inner resilience. Lorraine’s most recent work has been the development of www.Way2be.me programs, which are a series of lessons for children and sessions for parents and caregivers that are tailored to their needs, but that focus broadly on emotional resilience and other essential life skills. 

Lorraine holds a Masters in Public Policy & Management of Care Services. True to her core values, Lorraine has always worked in the areas of early intervention and prevention. Her motto, borrowed from Jean I Clarke, is ‘Take care of the needs of the parents and you take care of the needs of the child.’

A free fact sheet and a regular newsletter are available from www.way2be.me  for those who would like more information on resilience, self-esteem and self-compassion.

This entry was originally posted on E-Nanny Source on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013 at 11:02 am and is filed under Expert Insights. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. 

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Children's Anxious Lives

Much of the work I do involves children with learning challenges and their families. The one request I get on a regular basis are tips for stress management & self-calming.

Stressful feelings in children & adults can arise during times of transition, chaos & over stimulation, illness, test taking, hectic daily schedules or therapies & during fear based learning. When a child becomes overstimulated &  confused he cannot take in & process the information the brain is receiving. These situations & feelings cause a "fight or flight" reaction in the body and is the same type of response that occurs if that child were in danger of being harmed. The primative brain cannot tell the difference between mildly stressful situations & dangerous ones-or if the event is actually happening or is being imaged (as when playing video games or watching TV). This is a subconscious function & is our body's way of protecting itself from real danger.

During stressful events and activities,when this reaction or "stress response" happens, adrenalin flows directly into the brain and shuts down all functions except the survival functions. This blocks it completely from receiving/processing any other information. It does this in order to "survive". All it can remember to do at that point is "fight" or "flee". Once this survival or stress response occurs the child is not capable of processing any information much less learning. In children with autism, SPD's or other challenges this is the time when "meltdown" will most likely occur.

Along with emphasizing a varied & proper diet & constant hydration, one of the techniques I repeatedly focus on is using breathing with imagery to stay calm. This not only applies to the students, but to the teachers, support staff, peers, siblings and parents as well. It is always in everyone's best interest, especially in the home & in learning environments that everyone adapt  a "realxation response" as a way to combat stressful situations.The statistics on childhood stress are alarming, not just for children with learning challenges, but for neurotypical children as well. The most alarming statistic is how many parents & caregivers did not realize that their children were showing symptoms of stress:

Stress in Children (and the disconnect with parents)


•45% of teens (ages 13-17) said that they were more worried in 2009. However, only 28% of parents thought their teen's stress had increased.

•26% of tweens (ages 8-12) said that they were more worried in 2009. However, only 17% of parents thought that their children's stress had increased.

•30% of children reported being worried about the family's financial situation. However, only 18% of parents thought that their finances were a cause of their children's stress.

Possible Effects of Stress in Children

•30% of tweens and 42% of teens say they get headaches. However, only 13% of parents reported being aware of their children having headaches.

•39% of tweens and 49% of teens report difficulty sleeping. However, only 13% of parents reported being aware of their children having trouble sleeping.

•25% of tweens and 39% of teens reported eating too much or too little due to stress. However, only 8% of parents reported being aware of this issue.
(All of the above stress statistics related to children and their parents were reported by a 2009 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA).)

The (slightly long) article below is a re-post from "Natural Awakenings" Magazine. I found it to be informative and I am sharing it with you here. It is imperative that we as parents and educators teach our children (of ALL abilities) techniques for self-calming not only through telling & teaching them but by setting an example and showing them. Children learn stress reactions from the people they are around most-peers, parents and teachers. When we learn how to properly recognize & manage our own stress, our children will learn to follow our lead.

Wishing you a Peaceful day!

~Barb


Calming Anxious Lives...

Re post:Original article by Lisa Marshall
for Natural Awakenings Magazine-Lehigh Valley Ed.


For fourth-grader Skylar Shumate, a typical Tuesday looks like this. Rise at dawn for some toaster waffles and juice before sprinting to the bus at 7:15 a.m. Study for spelling en route to school. Embark on a seven-hour school day, filled with classes and quizzes. Head to cheerleading at 3:15 p.m., hip-hop class at 5 p.m., then return home to practice piano and do homework before grabbing dinner and heading to bed.

In all, Skylar reports, she is a happy kid. “But sometimes, if I’m super stressed, I’ll go cry in my room,” she confesses. “I sometimes just wish there wasn’t so much pressure.”

Such a statement from a child is particularly chilling. But, according to a growing body of research and legions of concerned child development experts, Skylar is not alone.


Troubling Trends

According to a study by the California-based Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health, up to 70 percent of parents report that their 9- to 13-year-old children experience moderate to high levels of stress. In a recent poll of high school students by Stanford University, 65 percent admitted they were often or always stressed out. According to the National Mental Health Information Center, anxiety disorders affect 13 out of every 100 children ages 9 to 17.

Nationwide, healthcare providers report an increase in stress-related health problems like stomach aches, teeth grinding, sleep disorders and behavioral problems in children as young as preschool age. Some anxiety can be attributed to trouble at home, such as abuse or personal tragedy. But a more insidious culprit appears to have emerged: a culture of hyper-parenting, in which kids are overscheduled and academically overloaded, and adult role models—concerned about everything from terrorism to pandemics and the economy—are more stressed than ever.

“We have stumbled into a unique moment in the history of childhood, a cocktail of cultural and historical trends that have intersected to create a perfect storm,” says Carl Honoré, a 41-year-old father of two and author of Under Pressure: Rescuing our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting.

He notes how anxious parents are feeling the need to prepare their kids for a tough job market. They have money to afford extracurricular activities, and because they are becoming parents later in life and raising fewer children, they have a tendency to dote on them and expect great things. “Children are the target of more adult anxiety and intervention today than at any time in history,” says Honore.

Most troubling is the realization that too much childhood stress can have lifelong health consequences.

Read full article here



Lisa Marshall is a freelance writer and mother of four in Colorado

Original Source:
http://www.naturalawakeningsmag.com/natural-library/august-2009/calming-anxious-lives



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