Merry Christmas!

May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow. 

Wishing you and yours lots of love, health and happiness, now and always.

Merry Christmas!

~Barbara

The Santa Key

Last week, there was a discussion going on about holiday traditions that prompted me to use one of mine as today's blog post.

My daughter and I do the usual cookie baking and we also contribute to a "Toys for Tots", coat drive or a "Community Giving Tree" project, and every year my daughter does the annual "Santa Run" with the fire department her dad is a member of.

But if I had to pick a favorite of my own, it would have to be our "Santa Key" tradition.

When my sons were little, I got divorced from their dad and we moved to an apartment. The boys were concerned that Santa would not be able to get in for his visit, as we did not have a fireplace nor a chimney for this purpose. The thought of "leaving the door unlocked" was out of the question as the neighborhood was not the best nor the safest.

So I got this idea to search in antique shops for a large old key. I finally found one, (pictured above)  and I attached a beautiful fancy tassel to it (I had to replace the tassel years ago and it now has a large wire ribbon bow.) I found an old velvet jewelry box and placed the key inside for storage.

I mailed it to the kids at our new apartment-(with a North Pole return address)- in the beginning of December, with instructions from the "Big Guy" himself to leave the key for him by the door on Christmas Eve so he could leave them a little something. It immediately calmed their concerns and excited them so much! They did exactly what "Santa" asked and left it by the door for him on Christmas Eve. That was the first year we used it

Every year after that, and when my daughter was old enough to do it, on Christmas eve, we would go through the ritual: put the baby Jesus in the manger, leave the cookies and milk for Santa, sprinkle magic oats on the grass for the Reindeer and leave the "Santa Key" outside by the door so he could let himself in. "Santa" would leave the key next to the empty cookie plate when he was finished and the kids would place it back in the box for the following year.

This worked fine, until my oldest being precocious at 8 years old, figured out that the key did not match the lock-so I added a "Magic Christmas Key" myth - that only Santa could get the key to work and no one else could use it to get into our apartment. Not even me or daddy. (I wanted to get a few more years of holiday magic for him and for his younger brother to enjoy).

We still have the original key and use it as an ornament on our tree now, and I occasionally make the keys and give them as gifts for friends with little guys. The key has become our symbol of growth-of the "unlocking" of unique gifts, and the sharing  with other of all the goodness inside of ourselves- not just at holidays, but all year.

I know that there are some that will argue that these Santa stories are all lies-and we should not lie to kids. I don't agree with that entirely. While I don't think we should overtly lie to or deceive children, I look at the stories-religious and non-religious- the mythology and history of St Nicholas (Santa), and of all the traditions, in all the different cultures of the world, and I see them all as an important part of a child's development- a way to re-enforce their own good qualities & the spirit of the season as well as remembering the reason we celebrate it. I see these stories and traditions as a way to bring life and deeper meaning to the imaginations of children.

I was about 11 when I found out that Santa was a myth. After I did, I was disappointed and I cried. I felt that a part of me wasn't there any more, but mostly, I afraid I wouldn't get any more presents. My father took me aside and asked me to not tell my brother-(he is almost 5 years younger than I am.) He told me that believing is the best time of a child's life, and he wanted my brother to have that magic for a few more years. I then went from dissappointment to being "in on the secret" and it changed my outlook entirely. I liked being "Secret Santa" and that transition helped me to better understand the meaning of Christmas on a deeper level.

I wholeheartedly agree with my father on this point: believing in mythology and fantasy when we are children is a way to keep hope in our hearts and understanding in our minds as we grow. Its a way for us to relate to each other and begin to understand all the symbolism that is all around us. Its also a way for us to remember that we are limited only by our own imaginations, because it is there, that all things are possible.

What are some of your family's favorite traditions? 



Related Posts:


Kindness: A Gift to Pay Forward

La Befana

Kindness: The Gift You Pay Forward

Photo by: thecomplexmedia.com

If you ask a random sampling of people what their best/favorite gift they ever received was, each will give you an answer unique to what is important to them. I love asking this question to kids, as the answers will make you smile and sometimes cry.

My best gift ever would be a toss up between two gifts- but if I had to pick just one, it would be one that was given about 15 years ago.

I was a single mom of two young sons, and had been laid off from my job, on my birthday, a few days after we returned from the Thanksgiving break.  Rent was due, Christmas was coming, I had no job and no one was hiring. No one as a parent wants to disappoint their kids, especially at this special time of year, and I felt overwhelmed and ill-equipped to handle Life as it was at that moment. Even though my sons did not believe in Santa anymore, they still enjoyed the holiday and getting gifts.  I struggled enough while I was working and had no idea how I was going to manage this while I was unemployed.

My neighbors, friends and even former co-workers were empathetic & helpful and would contact me about possible job openings and watch my sons if I needed while I went on interviews, but as each day went by, I felt myself become more and more stressed and discouraged.

One evening, about a week before Christmas, after a day of job hunting, the boys and I came home, carrying in a few groceries up the long stairway to the second floor, when I noticed a light on at the end of  the long hallway we called our apartment. I was very careful about turning off/unplugging lights and electronics, as I had to be frugal with electric use. I walked down the hall to investigate and into the living room fully expecting to see the floor lamp on.  I was stunned at what I saw instead.

There, in front of me was a live Christmas tree, set up, lit up, and fully decorated, complete with wrapped packages under it for the boys. Stockings were carefully hung (and filled) on the window sill and there was a card that read "Merry Christmas from Santa's Elves". Of course, I cried my eyes out. My boys re-discovered the magic of "Santa Clause" as they looked at each package to see who it was for. They assumed I has set this up for them and when I told them I did not, they were both very touched as I was.

I never did find out exactly who masterminded this or how although I do have an idea. No one had a key to my apartment, however, the door was not very secure and could easily be opened with a butter knife by anyone determined enough. Whoever it was, I can never thank them enough.

I hope that "Santa's Elves" realize how much their kindness affected me and my sons in a positive way that year and for years afterwards. To this day I can't re-tell this story without getting teary eyed and emotional. I did find new employment and moved forward, but that small act of kindness and thoughtfulness in the midst of transition and uncertainty helped me find my gratitude, and restored my temporary loss of faith in human nature as well as myself. It helped remind me that the best gifts really don't come in packages, and don't have a price tag. In the spirit of "Santa's Elves" and the kindness they showed us that year  I have paid this act forward many times, with the help of my sons as they grew up, and now my daughter, (who is the same age as my sons were  that year), gets to be a part of the tradition too.

Compassion and Kindness are  important Life Lessons to teach our children (and students) & is one way for us to keep perspective no matter what is thrown at us, what time of year it is, or which holiday we celebrate.

In the midst of all the adults stressing over holiday logistics, and family and what to buy and going into debt over gift-giving; and still others stressing over unemployment, heating bills, and putting food on the table, we can all be reminded that simple acts of thoughtfulness, kindness,compassion, empathy, friendship, togetherness, respect, tolerance & acceptance-(all are different forms of love) will never put you in debt because they don't cost a thing.

While its a beautiful thing to unwrap a gift box of something that has been carefully selected especially for us, those intangible gifts are also perfectly acceptable to give, and receive, at holidays or any other time. Kindness is always the right size & never goes out of style. It has a lifetime guarantee of a long-lasting positive effect on the recipient, (even if he/she is one of those people who can't/won't show it on the outside.)

Best of all, if you do decide to 're-gift', no one will ever fell slighted nor insulted; in fact re-giftinig is encouraged!

Wishing you and yours a Healthy, Happy & Abundant Holiday Season!

~Barbara



*Tell Us:  What is your most memorable gift ever and why? (Either from childhood or adulthood, material or otherwise.) Please tell us in the comments below!

Give & Take

One of the things that yoga has taught me on so many levels is the lesson of balance. Not just in the poses, or the way I stand, sit and walk, but also in the way I contract and relax muscles as I work & move through my day. In my breathing. In my thoughts and  speech and in my every action. In my work and play and in my emotions. I've learned that there must be balance in all things.

The hardest thing I have had to learn over the years would have to be balance in my relationships, specifically in the area of  "Give and Take."

I am an oldest child. I grew up putting my needs aside to take care of my younger brother. I became a mother at 18 and again at 36 and put my needs aside to care for my children. My family raised me to be polite, compassionate & giving. They taught me to put myself in others shoes, understand and empathize with the needs of others and that the world did not revolve around only me. They taught me how to give the very best of myself at all times.

The thing they forgot to teach me though was how to take-how to receive. I've have a hard time with that, from not asking for help when I need it to not wanting to say 'no' to someone who really needs help. Its natural for me to just help whoever is asking me. Saying 'no' - and taking something instead of giving- has been one of the toughest, but most important lessons that I have learned through my life experiences. It is one that I have done my best to instill in my children.

Giving can be a wonderful thing, unless you are giving until you have nothing left. Its like draining a battery-you have to allow it to recharge once and a while in order for it to work properly. Does that sound selfish? Well, maybe it is, but selfish is not always bad unless its in excess. How can we really give to and help others if we don't recognize and take care of our own needs first? Its what we are supposed to do. Ultimately, the only one we have to answer to on this plane is ourselves and If we don't do that, then we have nothing real or substantial to give to anyone else.  It is just as important to receive than it is to give.

The intention with which we give is also just as important as how much we give. Why do we give? Out of guilt? Out of expectations of someone else? Peer pressure or social status? Because someone gave to us? Or because we have something of value to an individual or group that we want to share with them? Each type of giving feels different and will either recharge your battery or drain it.

There are many ways to give and it does not always have to be something expensive, 'as seen on TV" and gift wrapped. For all the enjoyment we get out of giving, we know that ultimately, we get tired and bored with our 'stuff,' and so do others. Most of those gifts we give and receive will wind up in a drawer or closet within the next year or so. But when we give our attention, our time, our friendship, our unique talent & memorable experiences, these are the most priceless, useful and personal gifts that money can't buy!

As we come into this season of giving, talk with children about both giving, receiving and the etiquette for both. Teach them how to strike a balance between the two. Remind your children that gifts come in many shapes and sizes and the best gift you could ever give is to help around the house or to be a good friend to someone who may be having  hard time. Teach them the proper way to ask for something-whether that means asking for help or a new video game.
If they want new toys and games, have them go through the ones they already have and give away the ones they no longer use. This has been a fall ritual for my kids and myself for about 25 years. There are many schools and organizations that will gladly take gently used items: coats, sweaters, boots, etc. along with dolls and books and other toys that sit unused in the closet or basement. It helps to make room for the new things we want-materially and symbolically. When children do this regularly and as a habit, it allows them to maintain balance. It allows them to not only to appreciate the act of giving, but also to enjoy & understand the value of receiving much more.

Most of all, set an example and allow yourself  the pleasure of receiving. Put yourself on your holiday gift list.  Accept someone's offer to help you. Say 'no' to people who cross boundaries. Shut off your cellphone and electronics for a few hours so you can have some undisturbed quiet. Do something for you. When was the last time you took yourself to a movie, a cooking class or had a spa day to yourself?  This is the time for you to do that. Pretend its from Santa.

If you don't celebrate Christmas, pretend its from all of those, known and unknown people whom you have given to and helped over the years. Its a Thank You from the Universe for all the good work you have done here. Accept it and receive it graciously and enjoy!


*What are some of the best gifts that you have given or received for the holidays or a birthday? Please tell us about it in the comments below!



Below is an article link that I saw about a 69 year old woman who has taken Giving & Receiving to the next level. I find it both interesting and fascinating although I don't know that I would have the courage to try it!   “Gib und Nimm” (Give and Take).


Read more about the spirit of giving here:
La Befana


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La Befana

I turned 46 last week. I love celebrating a birthday around holidays. I use this a time to self-evaluate-where have I been, where am I going and how can I become a better version of me?

I was sitting here last night in front of the fireplace thinking of all the celebrations in the past 46 years-some festive, and others not. I came to understand fully the significance of these ceremonies & milestones. The history we live, and the stories we tell about it, help us to identify with those qualities we want to embody and share with others.

In my quest (okay-suddenly its becoming more of an obsession) for remembering and finding more holiday traditions, I came across the legend of La Befana. (Sent to me by Sydney Solis of  'Storytime Yoga'.) She (La Befana...and Sydney for that matter) embodies the feminine spirit of benevolence.

La Befana  is a female version of Santa Claus in Italy, who loves children dearly. She is a kind old woman with magical powers who brings gifts to the children of Italy on the eve of the Epiphany. (Jan 6-the date that is said to be when the wise man found the baby Jesus in the manger.)

The name Befana is derived from the word epifania, the Italian name for the religious festival of the Epiphany. In the weeks leading to the  Epiphany, the children of Italy write notes to Befana telling her the presents they would like. They are on their best behavior because they know that Befana will leave a lump of coal, instead of sweets and toys, for children who misbehave.

There are several variations to this legend that takes place at the time of the birth of Baby Jesus, the Christ Child. La Befana is an old woman who lives in a house in the hills of Italy. She once had a husband and child, but now lives alone. Befana spends her days sweeping and baking, and gathering wood.

One night, Befana notices a bright light in the sky, she thinks nothing of it and goes back to her work of sweeping and baking. Later, a glorious caravan led by Three Wise Men stop and ask Befana for directions to Bethlehem and invite Befana to join them in their search for the new King-the Christ Child.

Befana is too busy and knows nothing of this far-away place nor the birth of a special baby. After the caravan disappeared over the hills, Befana thought of how much she missed her child who sadly died at a very young age. She changed her mind and wanted to visit this special child, because she loves children very much. So she placed some baked goods and gifts for the child in a sack, took her broom to help the new mother clean and raced out after the caravan in search of the Baby Jesus.

Befana soon was lost. And just as she tired, angels appeared from the bright light, the magic star, in the sky to give flight to Befana on her broom - after all this was a night of miracles. She searched and searched for the caravan & Baby Jesus and could not find him.

Befana still searches, even today, even after all these centuries. Every year on the eve of the Epiphany, whenever Befana comes to a house where there is a child, she drops in to see if it might be the child she seeks. It never is, but Befana leaves a gift anyway, for Befana has come to realize, over the years, that her searching is not vain; that the qualities and unconditional love of the Christ Child can be found in all children.

In another version, the children are afraid of her and think she is a witch even though all she does is sweep and bake. In fact, before people realized how kind she was, they rang bells made of earthenware and blew glass trumpets to scare her away. This has all been forgotten now, and, as her story shows, Befana never deserved it.

Storytelling and legends, are a way for us to preserve family history & cultural traditions. Share these stories with your children & students and encourage them to tell stories of their own. Help build positive character traits such as benevolence, acceptance and inclusion, encourage emotional growth and development, spark imaginations & open young hearts & minds.

Buon Natale!

Happy Holidays to all!


To read another version of this beautiful story, click here.

To order "The Legend of Old Befana" children's Book, click here
To read more about Holiday Celebrations, Stories and Traditions from around the world, click here.

To find more holiday stories that teach, Click Here.


*What are some of the legends & stories that you or your family tell during the holidays? Please tell us in the comments below!



~Barbara