"I'm Not Sleepy" and Other Bedtime Stories

Photo: theguardian.co.uk

Today I came across this question on a social network:

"Can anyone offer any advice on how to handle a 3 year old who screams bloody murder every night before bed?" 

I'm approached for bedtime tips fairly often, so today, I thought I would share an expanded version of my response:


Without having a good sense of what a typical routine is before bed-and how many people are in the house, etc., and speaking in general terms, it would be helpful to first pinpoint & find out why is she is screaming. Is she afraid of the dark? Does not want to be alone? Is it a stressful time of day? Or maybe her day was too full-at school or daycare all day and needs some mommy/daddy time.

I find that a simple, un-rushed but regular routine helps to prepare kids for bedtime and helps them wind down. This could include a bath, laying out clothes for the next day and then a story, (one story only!) Don't be afraid of simple structure here-it helps kids feel supported and safe-event though they may test you and rebel every so often. Consistency and patience are key.

Some other quick bedtime activity alternatives are:

•  doing a simple coloring activity (for 3 year olds, simple geometric shapes, rainbows or animals are just fine!) 
• a brief, gentle massage (hands and feet or scalp usually work well.) 
• a small snack with some protein-chicken, cheese stick, yogurt, nut butter, etc. and a few slices of vegetables or fruit
• brushing/combing teeth and hair
• preparing lunch or snack for the next day

In addition, the following important details should be noted:

• give a "heads up" 5 minute warning-and use a timer. Do not cave and do not prolong this. Do not let them keep adding 5 more minutes- as it creates bad habits and a distorted sense of time down the road.(Allowing children to prolong bedtime like this also teaches them to not respect boundaries and they will expect you to do this all the time. Don't let this become a pattern or it will be impossible to break!)
• shut down TV and electronics at least 30 minutes before bed so the senses/brain can also calm down. TV & other electronics stimulate the areas of the brain that control our stress response-(Fight or Flight) and the brain/body needs time to regulate and shift to low gear after the adrenalin rush
• night lights are sensed by the eyes even while asleep and do not allow the brain/body to rest completely. Its best to not use them or at least be sure they are as dim as possible and not shining directly in the child's face.
• I discourage TV's and computers in bedrooms for the same reason. Remove them or unplug and cover them during bed/nap time.
• quiet, slow tempo (instrumental) music played on very low volume is OK and may help signal to the brain that its time for sleep
• furry family members (pets) should be moved out of the room so the room "quiets" down
• toys and clothes should be put away so that the room is "quiet" when bedtime comes. \
• follow through with consequences. If you have to ask several times to put toys away and go brush their teeth and your child continues to play, there should be a meaningful consequence, such as not reading a story because there is no time for one.
• A visual schedule is also helpful and is simple to make. Take photos of each step in the bedtime routine-(bath, brush teeth, comb hair, lay out clothes, story, lights out, etc.) and place each on a wall chart in order, or in a small photo album. When its time to do bedtime activities, lead your child though each picture-step. The next-to last step should be a brief but fun activity-(keeps them motivated to complete the other steps) and then "Lights Out" tells them its time for sleep.

It may take a few tries for the new routine to catch on, and they kids might test you. Be patient and stay calm. They will soon understand and be doing it on their own.

A word of caution though-experts say that it is also not good to over-help your child get to sleep. This is a skill they need to learn for themselves. Bedtime should not become a circus but rather a time to wind down and prepare for restful sleep. Over-helping creates a situation where the child becomes over dependent on the help and cannot develop the skills he needs to settle himself down and go to sleep at all. Read More : The Wide Awake Club

Also see: 

Helping Your Child Sleep Well

Taming Your Toddler

For more simple ideas on keeping kids calm, learn more about Barbara's Book, Calm & Connected !

Other Great Bedtime Books:

Bedtime is Cancelled

When the Moon Forgot

Sleep Like a Tiger

The Dream Keeper

Mama, I Can't Sleep

The Dot

Good Night Moon

Contact: bodylogique@yahoo.com 

In Case You Missed it: Daylight Savings

Photo: "Exploding Clock" Salvadore Dali

Spring Ahead...Fall Back.

This weekend marks Daylight Savings time-that once yearly practice of advancing clocks so that evenings have more daylight and mornings have less. I don't know about you, but I could give this ritual up in the blink of an eye. 

The practice of daylight saving was first proposed in 1895 & implemented during World War I. It has generally remained in use in North America and Europe since after the energy crisis of the 1970s.

The original goal of DST was to reduce evening usage of lights/electricity, but modern heating and cooling usage patterns vary, and research about how and if DST affects energy use is contradictory. 

Those of us with families know how DST can disrupt morning activities. There are many that feel that the act of changing clocks twice a year is economically and socially disruptive and cancels out any benefit. ( I would be one of them.) In addition, Seasonal Affective Disorder and other health problems may arise:

• Clock shifts disrupt sleep and reduce its efficiency. [BMC Physiology. 2008;8:3.]
• Effects on seasonal adaptation of the circadian rhythm can be severe and last for weeks. [Biological Rhythm Research. 2003;34(2):145–155.]
•  A 2008 study found that although male suicide rates rise in the weeks after the spring transition, the relationship weakened greatly after adjusting for season. [Sleep and Biological Rhythms. 2008;6(1):22–25]
• A 2008 Swedish study found that heart attacks were significantly more common the first three weekdays after the spring transition, and significantly less common the first weekday after the autumn transition. [ New England Journal of Medicine. 2008;359(18):1966–1968.]
• The government of Kazakhstan cited health complications due to clock shifts as a reason for abolishing DST in 2005.[Kazakhstan Today. 2005-03-16.]
• In March 2011, Dmitri Medvedev, president of Russia, claimed that "stress of changing clocks" were the motivation for Russia to stay in DST all year long. Officials at the time talked about an annual increase in suicides.  [BBC News, 30 Oct. 2011]

So, as you prepare to set your clocks forward one hour this weekend, take a look at some tips offered on how to minimize the adjustment:



Ease Your Way into Daylight Savings Time

Daylight Savings Tips

Harvard Professor Explains Health Risks of Daylight Savings

5 Home Remedies for Seasonal Affective Disorder

Easing the Effects of Daylight Savings Time on Kids With Autism

Spring has Sprung-and So Might Your Hypomania

Small Shifts in Diurnal Rhythms are Associated with an Increase in Suicide

Contact: barbara@bodylogique.com



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From The Archives

Well yesterday I realized that I didn't schedule a Friday "In Case You Missed It" Post! It was a such a  beautiful day, that I was out of my office most of it. I hope you were too.

Today I've selected a few of the most-viewed articles-and a few of my personal favorites- from my archives and linked them here. Enjoy & feel free to pass on to others the ones you find most useful.

"In Case You Missed It" will return on Friday in its regular spot.

Have a great week everyone!


~Barbara



Helping your Child Sleep Well
(January, 2012)
It is estimated that as many as 30% of all children may have a sleep disorder at some point during childhood. Sleep disorders can impact health, school performance, day to day activities & social-emotional adjustment. For this reason it is important for both parents and educators to understand these disruptions and simple ways to assist children to rest and sleep better...



The Connection Between Sensory Integration & Yoga
(July, 2009)
Yoga itself is a natural form of sensory integration and It can be adapted to a variety of ages, learning styles and environments. Yoga will assist in facilitating many of the same skills as conventional S.I. as all 5 senses are stimulated & integrated during a 30-45 minute yoga session...



 Breathe-Relax
(July, 2010)We don't usually associate stress with good news or happy events, but these can also create a stress response in the body. We need to take moments throughout our day to release this tension that builds up not just in our mind, but in our bodies too...



 Living in Color
(November, 2011)I love taking walks in the woods this time of year. The colors of the foliage is absolutely beautiful and so restorative & healing to me. My daughter often refers to this time of year as "Living in Color". Color is a form of non-verbal communication. Colors say something to us when we look at them. What colors make you feel happy? Agitated?


Peace Pose
(May, 2011)Today is a perfect day for soaking in the peacefulness of the sunshine, the clear blue sky & the cool breeze & watching Lauren, my daughter play with the neighbors grandchildren. They have had a very fun & busy morning; running barefoot in the grass, playing wiffle ball, catching butterflies, picking (and eating) strawberries from our garden, blowing dandelion seeds, playing with dolls and pretending to be astronauts...



Where Mind, Body & Technology Meet
(October, 2011)When I was a kid you couldn't pay me to stay inside. (Unless it was snowing out. I did not like the cold much and still don't.) 4 years ago, I moved myself and my daughter to an area with plenty of parks, rocks to climb, biking & hiking trails and lakes. I am surrounded by the beauty of the woods & 'out doors' is a large part of my life. But as much as I advocate movement, sensory integration and art & nature being vital for children to learn & thrive, I want to also acknowledge that there are many places where the mind, body & technology meet and can live in harmony...



Dragonflies
(May, 2010)

"The Dragonfly Story" has become a favorite for the students in my Adaptive Yoga class for many reasons. In the story, a little "water beetle" who lives in the bottom of the pond gets curious to see what is up at the top. The story continues as he journeys into the unfamiliar, seeing new creatures around the pond and meeting new friends.One reason this story is so loved (by children as well as adults)  is the many lessons contained within it...





Contact Barbara: barbara@bodylogique.com

 

Helping Your Child Sleep Well

Illustration by:
Mariko Francis

It is estimated that as many as 30% of all children may have a sleep disorder at some point during childhood. Sleep disorders can impact health, school performance, day to day activities  & social-emotional adjustment. For this reason it is important for both parents and educators to understand these disruptions and simple ways to  assist children to rest and sleep better.


After just 1 night of poor sleep, the decision making part of the brain shuts down & anxiety takes over. After a few nights of disturbed sleep, blood sugar and electrolytes go off balance & concentration on even simple tasks is extremely difficult if not impossible.  Long term sleep disruptions cause lower immunity, elevated stress response, changes in mood, obesity, depression and diminished ability in cognitive functions.



While the average adult requires 8 about hours of sleep per night, babies 1-12 months old, need at least 14-15 hours of daily sleep. For children ages 1-3, the average amount is 12 hours; age 4-12, 10 hours; and for teens, 9 hours a night.


Although these numbers are ideal, many children do not come close to reaching them & getting the restful sleep they need. In particular, ADHD and sensory challenged children cannot get to sleep, and when they do finally get to sleep they have a hard time staying asleep.


We all want our children to participate in recreational activities, however, please be selective about how much and what kind of activities you allow your child to engage in. Children need down time-time to rest. What may seem like a fun & active schedule to adults can be overwhelming, deplete energy & disruptive to a child’s healthy sleep patterns, and leave everyone feeling tired, cranky and unbalanced.


One of the distinctions I like to make is that rest and sleep are two different things. The human brain needs both to function properly.

Sleep is a passive, unconscious activity in which only the brain, heart and lungs are active. There is no conscious awareness of the environment. Rest is when you are fully & consciously aware of your surroundings. The environment might be neutralized from all excess sensory stimulus, activity stops and thought is directed to less intense processes-(such as towards the breathing or a specific mental image in order to calm and 'recharge the batteries'. This is commonly called imagery or meditation. I will discuss these techniques in my next article.)

For now, below are three of the most common sleep problems and some tips to help address them:


Problem:
Can’t get to sleep: Mind is racing-can’t “shut it off”.

Try This:

• Stick to a consistent bedtime & waking schedule no matter what. Exposure to light/dark at the same time every day helps the body regulate itself to sleep and waking activities.

Supported Child's Pose
Photo ©2011 B.Gini

• Exercise! But not within 4 hours of bedtime. Movement (such as gentle yoga) will help release excess muscle tension and facilitate restful sleep. Try restorative postures like "Supported Child's Pose" pictured at right.

• Shut off the TV, computer and video games at least 30-45 minutes before bed. The flashing images stimulate the brain and cause an adrenalin response, similar to the stress response, that prevents sleep.


• Do a calming visual activity to wind-down. Coloring, painting, bead necklaces, Colorforms or making a collage or album of peaceful images will assist in the calming process and transition to bedtime.


• Take a warm bath. Warm bath water raises and lowers the body temperature, making it feel tired. You can also try 3 drops of chamomile essential oil in the bathwater. *(Please use aromatherapy with caution with allergic & sensory challenged children! Read more about Aromatherapy here.)

A simple "Bed-Night" snack (as my friend's daughter used to call it) with a combination of carbs, calcium and protein about 30 minutes before bed will also help to induce sleep.


Problem:
Won’t stay asleep: Eyes open same time every night.

Try This:

• Absolutely NO caffeine/Sugar for 3-4 hours before bed time. These chemicals stay in the system for at least 8 hours preventing the brain from entering deeper sleep.

• Read a bedtime story, look at photo albums or play an instrumental music CD, (designed to distract, not engage the attention) until sleep happens.

• Darken the room as much as possible. Light from a night light, clock, streetlamp, or iPod passes thru eyelids and signals the brain to ‘wake up’. You can use a bandanna or scarf to drape digital clocks.

Acupressure
Photo ©2011 B.Gini

• Encourage the child to stay in bed. Show then how to gently self-massage the hand, (shown at left) foot or scalp to help relax them back to sleep. (There are thousands of nerve endings in each hand and foot as well as the scalp. Massaging gently in a circular motion with help give input to the sensory system, signaling it to relax. Heavy work activities & a  deep pressure massage on back, arms and legs before bed will help calm the sensory system for several hours.)

Problem:
Auditory Sensitivity- Falls right to sleep, every sound wakes her up.

Try This:

• Natural, low level soothing sounds of nature helps calm and soothe an over reactive auditory system.

• Pillow position: ensure that neck and spine are aligned to relieve cramps and discomfort. Use a flatter pillow for stomach sleepers.

• Remove furry family members. Pet activity increases late at night and the early AM and will disturb human family members.

• Transition time: Take at least 45 min to an hour to prep for next day before going to bed: pack backpack, make lunch, lay out clothes, etc. Then prep self: brush teeth & hair and do some yoga or stretching before relaxing in bed with deep breathing or soft instrumental music.

Another little known strategy is to encourage the child to lie on his/her Right side. (For older children you can use stuffed animal to hold or a pillow to 'hug'.) The reason is that every 30-40 minutes our nostril dominance changes-meaning we naturally alternate breathing (primarily) out of one nostril or the other. The side we breathe in and out of will stimulate the opposite side of the brain. Sleeping on the right side, encourages the left (top) nostril to open & will stimulate the area of the brain that controls calming & restful sleep.

Sleep Well!

For more information on Relaxation, please contact me at:
barbara@bodylogique.com


Related :


Playing Outdoors Can Improve Sleep
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