You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims. ~Harriet Woods
The above quote is referring to a core standard of good character which is to treating others as one would want to be treated. We define character as
'moral or ethical strength.'
As a society in general I think we-especially schools, teachers (and parents)-tend to mistake good behavior for good character. What we are rewarding & subtly reinforcing is docility, suggestibility & compliance. In reality, we are not nurturing good character, but creating the child who will do what he is told. (Or even better, the child who will do what we want without even having to be told.) What we value most in children is what children value least in themselves. Its no surprise that any effort to 'teach' good character, through "Character Education" Programs or "Anti-Bullying" or "Bully Prevention" programs are statistically shown to be only minimally effective; and maybe its because we don't recognize-nor reward or reinforce good character when we see it.
I don't beleive that character is somethig that gets 'taught': rather, Children will naturally develop character if and when they are guided through their everyday challenges properly and through their decision making process. They learn it through having consequences for hurtful actions and for seeing positive outcomes when they put forth their best effort.
They need a healthy outlet for creative problem solving and support at home as well as at school. It is not entirely up to the school to educate our children, especially when it comes to character. A parent is the child's first and best teacher. It should start in the home, with the example you set & be a team effort extending to the school environment & beyond.
A child spends more hours at school than he does at home during the academic year, so there needs an atmosphere of mutual respect, approachability and a consistent example at school as well. I know a guidance counselor who is in charge of a local school's Character Education program who illustrates my point.
In a recent incident between my daughter and a few of her classmates, this counselor, in an effort to resovle the issue explained to the girls that gossiping is bad and hurtful and they should not involve themselves in it at all. She had them do some group hug thing and sent them on their way.
A few days later, my daughter was waiting in the office for me as an early dismissal and when she got in the car she told me, very indignantly,that the same counselor-along with another teacher, was having a detailed, negative and complaining conversation about a particular student-and his family-who she happens to be friends with. She was very upset & asked me how she could ever trust or take the counselor seriously again? She also astutely recognized that if she was talking about that family, does she talk about us too?
Kids can spot a phony and a hypocrite a mile away, and they will call you on it. And they won't ever forget the betrayal. My daughter learned more about good character in that 10 minute observation than she has in a whole year of "Character Ed" class. My job is to keep the communication open-when she comes to me, I actively listen and help her make her own assessments of the situation. I ask her leading questions about what other choices were available. I try to do this in a non-judging way so that the teaching moment is not lost in that-or in unnecessary drama. I always ask her a final "what is the lesson?" and I give her my take on it as well.
So other than purposely exposing our kids to hypocritical people, drama, pain and suffering, (Which I
strongly discourage!) how do we help instill in them and further develop good character?
I haved been working on that answer for more than a year now. I know that we have to do things differently than we have in the past. We need to innovate and involve them in the process, rather than impose more restrictions on them. "Zero Tolerance" policies and punishment does not work for teaching character or for even discouraging inappropraite behavior or ensuring compliance with rules. It only breeds resentment and more opposition,not better character. There is no dialog, no thinking nor discussion about what the better choices would have been and possible outcomes.
Its been widely known that the arts greatly contribute to all student's academic success and emotional well being. The ancient art of storytelling can be utilized easily in many environments in & out of the classroom. Storytelling is the basis of the
"S.M.Art Kids® Adaptive Yoga program, and now is the basis of our
Character Arts™ Program.
Storytelling is easily adaptable to all ages and all abilities. No special equipment is needed to create an imagery-just an audience, a speaker & the imagination. As a learning tool, storytelling encourages students to explore appropriate ways to express themselves and improves communication of thoughts & feelings. The storytelling process can even be adapted to use pictures or sign language for children with limited language skills.
Folktales & other stories are a creative, non-competitive & non-threatening way to guide young people toward positive personal values by presenting hypothetical situations in which the results and consequences of both 'good' and 'bad' decisions can be observed. They can identify with the characters, their challenges & their actions through experiencing & becoming the story. This teaches creative problem solving, which is a vital skill that can be applied in a variety of settings.
This skill is strengthened when the student is encouraged to write & tell their own wisdom stories-based on real or imaginary scenarios, and guided to incorporate visual art-in the form of illustrations, props, masks, puppets, mandalas, art journals, story sticks and more into the process. The lesson now becomes active rather than passive & much more personal & meaningful and hence, more integrated into everyday life.
Through this unique medium, these skills are learned easily & in support of character development. Telling a personal story, and listening to others tell theirs helps define a child's individual and unique self-worth, and allows them to acknowledge & respect the worth of others without competition, over-compensation or prejudice. Storytelling allows children to "unplug" from all the electronics surrounding them & is a compelling way to remind children that their spoken words are powerful, that listening is equivalent to understanding, and that clear communication between all people is an essential art.
Other benefits of Story Arts include development of expressive & receptive vocabulary & verbal skills, cultural education & strengthening the imagination. These skills can naturally be molded to self-confidence & motivation as students learn to focus on & envision themselves competent & able to reach & obtain their goals & dreams. A socially mature, emotionally strong, creative, confident child will be less likely to underachieve, undermine or judge others or to be taken in and overwhelmed by the massive epidemic of manufactured drama, insecurity, competition, hatred & fear that seems to permeate & infect society.
Confident and self-aware children are less likely to become a statistic: a victim of (or a participant in) teasing, bullying, depression, eating disorders, domestic violence, addictions, suicide and other forms of violent behavior.
Story telling & the arts in many forms are usable tools that if introduced at an early age, can help children feel more safe, see more beauty and good in the world & provide an appropriate outlet to neutralize & overcome the disturbing social & environmental messages, situations & obstacles that they are exposed to daily. It is not only possible, but is being accomplished today though many organizations.
Along with Movement & storytelling, Visual art is one of the most beneficial activities you can allow your child to engage in. In many ways, art can become a type of 'yoga' and bring many elements of human nature together. It can be a turning point, reinforcing simple lessons like creativity & balance, allowing brain & body to work together, minimizing the stress response and allowing children to independently create something beautiful & personally meaningful to them. I envision art being used to creatively reinforce and tangibly represent & remind the student of the idea, theme or "moral" of the stories.
The process of creating art also enhances communication, critical thinking & visual processing skills while developing the tactile sense, fine motor control & strengthens brain integration making it a perfect activity for children with learning challenges. It relieves stress & improves focus, making it a versatile, multi-sensory activity for all children.
It is never too early-or late- to introduce children to story telling or the arts. Its never too late to experience the process and excitement of finding their creative brain an using it to solve conflicts and problems-and to develop their own confidence & sense of good character: to know how to stand tall without standing on someone or to be a victor without having victims.
Subscribe to S.M.Art Kids / Healthy Kids by Email
.
